Finding Happy


Really Long Shower Thoughts

Feeling good is such a foreign thing. From the time I was small, if I felt anything, it was fear or shame. Even before I learned that feeling was vulnerable and unsafe, embarrassment and anger were mixed in with any positive emotion. Now that I’m beginning to feel good, it’s been a process of learning […]

November 12, 2017

I Can’t Wait


Really Long Shower Thoughts

For our whole lives, we’re told to wait for something. Wait for dinner. Wait until your dad gets home. Wait until you have kids of your own. Wait until marriage. Wait until the weekend. Everything seems to revolve around waiting for conditions to get better or change. Time is made out to be this magical […]

September 23, 2017

A Letter to My Hair


Poet Among Other Things, Short

Dear Hair, What the quiff?! We’ve been together for all these years and this is how you repay me? Is it because I cut you off? I’m sorry about that. Everyone attributed it to “the gayness,” but you and I both know that had nothing to do with it. Well, maybe it had something to […]

January 31, 2017

Pokémon Go Figure


Really Long Shower Thoughts, Storytime

The world is a scary place right now. It’s always been scary to a degree, but this past month has been especially bloody and fear ridden. News coverage is a perpetual stream of updates on terror attacks and hate crimes. It’s beyond the “if it bleeds, it leads” adage. There doesn’t seem to be much else to […]

July 17, 2016

You Comin’ Blondie?


Books and Movies, Really Long Shower Thoughts

I have a confession to make. I love those stupid personality quizzes. The ones that tell you which element is represented in your soul (always fire, btw) or what kind of food you are (usually something I don’t like that much), but my favorite ones are Disney related. Disney princess quizzes, to be exact. Based […]

May 21, 2016

I’m Not a Midwife


Really Long Shower Thoughts

When I was 9 years old my first brother was born. I was thrilled to be designated official videographer of the homebirth. After all, that obviously put me at the same rank as the actual photographer, and he was a wicked cool guy with an amazing camera. “Click,” as 3 year old Claire called him, wasn’t the […]

March 6, 2016

Creativity in Hindsight


Really Long Shower Thoughts

Sometimes you don’t really understand what your art means, or why you make it at all. But that’s the thing about being a creative person. You can’t stop making things just because you don’t understand them. When I wrote Volumes of Rows, I didn’t realize that what I was describing was probably dyslexia. That swimming around before […]

August 26, 2015

Odd Child


Really Long Shower Thoughts

I was an odd child. Ever since I was very young, I have wrestled with existential issues. Birthdays have always been torture. Parties would often both begin and end with me crying in my bedroom, trying to forget that everyone there was focusing on me, so eventually I didn’t have them anymore. It bothered me to […]

July 18, 2015

Vampire Legs


Really Long Shower Thoughts

A purple striped tank top hung from a pipe in the steamy laundry room. At the top of a stack of shorts lay a matching purple pair. “Why can’t I wear them anymore?” She was young. All she knew was that purple was far superior to pink, and short clothes were much cooler in the […]

June 29, 2015

Pieces: Big Fur Coat


Farm and Family, Really Long Shower Thoughts

TW: self harm, self hate Depression’s like a big fur coat, It’s made of dead things but it keeps me warm ~ Iodine, Icon for Hire (Internal monologue) No, you don’t need to tell anyone about this. It will only make them feel bad, or ashamed, or remember their own pain. It’s not that big […]

March 13, 2015