Recovering Perfectionist


Really Long Shower Thoughts

I don’t like not being able to do things. This year has been one where that’s something I’ve had to learn to deal with. CN: mention of attempted suicide At the beginning of the school year I came down with mono. Normally, I’m fairly healthy, physically. I didn’t get colds all that often, and when […]

December 31, 2017

Finding Happy


Really Long Shower Thoughts

Feeling good is such a foreign thing. From the time I was small, if I felt anything, it was fear or shame. Even before I learned that feeling was vulnerable and unsafe, embarrassment and anger were mixed in with any positive emotion. Now that I’m beginning to feel good, it’s been a process of learning […]

November 12, 2017

Being an Anxious Extrovert


Really Long Shower Thoughts

One of the strangest things I have been working on in therapy is empathy. In the past I never really considered myself an empath. I was emotionally volatile, but nothing exists in a vacuum. When we started exploring the possibility that I might be an empath, things began falling into place. A while back someone […]

October 17, 2017

I Can’t Wait


Really Long Shower Thoughts

For our whole lives, we’re told to wait for something. Wait for dinner. Wait until your dad gets home. Wait until you have kids of your own. Wait until marriage. Wait until the weekend. Everything seems to revolve around waiting for conditions to get better or change. Time is made out to be this magical […]

September 23, 2017

To My Almost Girlfriend:


Poet Among Other Things

I still love you. It’s been years, but I do. It’s very different from what we shared. I remember that day when we first met. We were introduced and the connection was instant. Your eyes sparkled. You made me feel warm; Warm like a field of wildflowers in late summer. It happened slowly, or it […]

September 13, 2017

Yer Killing Me, Smalls


Really Long Shower Thoughts

Content Note: Suicide, self harm, religion One of the most consistent terms that gets tossed around when mental health professionals talk about me is PTSD. I’m not sure if it’s an official diagnosis yet, but from my first psychologist appointment back in April until my most recent therapy session, PTSD has been mentioned. The only […]

August 13, 2017

Try Again


Uncategorized

Content note: mental illness, eating disorders, suicide, cutting, slight spoilers for To the Bone I have not watched 13 Reasons Why. I am not going to. However, I think Netflix may have succeeded in what they were trying to do with 13 Reasons in To the Bone. It’s a look into mental illness that hurts. […]

July 21, 2017

A Letter to My Hair


Poet Among Other Things, Short

Dear Hair, What the quiff?! We’ve been together for all these years and this is how you repay me? Is it because I cut you off? I’m sorry about that. Everyone attributed it to “the gayness,” but you and I both know that had nothing to do with it. Well, maybe it had something to […]

January 31, 2017

Refuse to be Deleted


Really Long Shower Thoughts, Storytime

This is a time when our nation is ripe. Art and media are important for telling stories that teach us things, but we must learn the lessons. It’s time to stop reading about revolutions in books like the Hunger Games. Watching Star Wars doesn’t make you a member of the resistance. Things are changing. But […]

January 21, 2017