What the quiff?!
We’ve been together for all these years and this is how you repay me? Is it because I cut you off?
I’m sorry about that.
Everyone attributed it to “the gayness,” but you and I both know that had nothing to do with it.
Well, maybe it had something to do with it. But that wasn’t the main reason.
You and I have been through a lot.
Those bangs that mom kept giving us until we were old enough to say “for god’s sake stop!”
That terrible center part that I thought was sensible and normal.
The miles and miles of luscious and heavy braids.
I guess it was the updos and buns that really marked the beginning of the end.
You were up and out of the way.
I could take you down when I needed comfort, but most of the time you were tucked away.
The decision to cut you off was hard, and I hope you know that.
I needed to forget, and you wouldn’t let me.
You reminded me of a place I escaped and never want to go back to.
But you were also my comfort and crutch.
You know how stubbornly independent I am. I needed to try to live on my own.
Of course, that isn’t a thing I can really do, because you’re just as stubborn as I am.
Which is why I’m writing you tonight.
There is no need for all this excitement.
I know you’re there, you don’t need to stand up and wave for me to see you.
If I give you some mousse will you calm down? No, it’s not chocolate but it’ll have to do for now.
Oh, hey. Thanks for being there.
See ya around,
P.S. Sorry for all those years I didn’t know conditioner was a thing.